Essays on doubt and closeness
Is it anxiety, or is your gut trying to tell you something?
A question at 2 a.m. about the person you are about to marry. A good weekend, and then the urge to run. These essays are about telling a real signal from an old alarm, and what to do with each.
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Doubt · Anxiety · Closeness
Relationship Anxiety or Gut Feeling: How to Tell Them Apart
Six weeks before her wedding, one question keeps her awake. How to tell a real warning from nerves.
Read the essay · 9 minCloseness · Attachment · Anxiety
Why Do I Push Away the People I Love?
A lovely weekend, then fault-finding, then relief, then missing her. Why getting close can feel dangerous, and what helps.
Read the essay · 10 minAbout
Some doubts are warnings and some are old alarms. You can learn to tell them apart.
Near and Far is a small collection of essays about two things that trouble close relationships: doubt that will not settle, and closeness that sets off an urge to leave. Each essay ends with questions to sit with and one small thing to try.
The essays draw on research in psychology, explained in everyday words. Where a study is mentioned, it is described for what it found, and no more.
The diagrams are there to make the ideas easier to hold. Charts with numbers are drawn to scale. Diagrams marked “illustration” show an idea, not data.
The stories are composites, and the names and details are invented. The essays do not replace counselling. If you are in distress, Tele MANAS is free and open all hours on 14416. If you are afraid of a partner, call the Women Helpline on 181 or emergency services on 112.